I Don't Know WTF I'm Doing...

Entrepreneurial Truth -

Despite the smug look on my face and the relatively cool step-and-repeat in my background, I have no clue what I'm doing. Of course, this is in reference to my entrepreneurial journey. I have completed some very challenging works such as writing a book & ebook, aligning with a monumental cause (Silence the Shame), and a few other releases very soon to be announced...but even with all of those things on my list, I feel very incomplete. Here's what I know - leveling up is a process of consistent & diligent strides, it takes strategy, it takes networking, it takes endurance, and it takes personal/self-innovation. You have to become new to get new and, being fully transparent, this might be where I struggle the most.

A friend of mine was speaking to another friend and said, "You want to get more without becoming more." That line triggered a very direct emotion in me. It represented what I know myself to deal with all the time. I have the envisioning process down-pat but the evolutionary process is probably the hardest shit. I'm trying to find my way but it's like the old days of riding and getting lost then learning a route to where you were trying to go. 

People often congratulate you on things they see via social media promotions, but they don't quite realize there are so many uncertain moments that lead to those progressive ones. Better yet, that sometimes you're having to post highlight moments to remind yourself why you're doing it. I suffer from analysis paralysis - I over think things, I also can feel overwhelmed by the fact that I have multiple ideas that I want to work, or I can get caught in between the "working on a project" & "what the hell am should I be doing next" phase. There are days where I literally pray, "God, please show me the next move to make...please direct me to what I should be occupying my time with." Sometimes the answer is patience. Other times the answer comes in the form of a valuable connection.

All of this I know is a process and in my books, I fully encourage others through it, but I too feel the weight of needing sustainable tangibles. Maybe, in this moment I am creating this post to serve as a reminder for the future when all the work & confusion has manifested into a vision long desired. Nonetheless, there are times I feel a strong need to purge the truth of how I really feel.


I'm just trying to make it work...